6 years, maybe more, of struggling everyday has to come to an end. I desperately want to reach out to my family and friends but when ever I decide to I can’t find the moment. Maybe writing it down will help me come to terms with my issues and should anyone else read this maybe it will help them too.
As mentioned above I have been struggling for a while now and last year things really started to get dark. I had arranged a day out with the family for my Birthday, in fact we were all going to run either a 10k or half marathon. It had become a
Below are some general experiences, feelings, emotions, I have faced while coping with Anxiety and Depression.
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An overwhelming feeling of dread
So now I’ve explained some background I’ll start to detail feelings and experiences from now on, if its jumbled, boring or generally doesn’t make sense I apologise now.
Bad start, great finish
The day started the night before, really couldn’t settle, mind would not turn off. As a result my sleep was even less than usual. My wife got up at 6am to take the eldest into work, came home, back out again at 7:00 to drop our daughter at training and
On my own, in a room full of people!
One of the hardest things to explain is the loneliness, the isolation one can feel, even when surrounded by people.
We had a gathering recently, a lovely day, family, friends, fun, laughter, everything I thrive on. I am never happier than when I have a house full of people
Bad Bad Day
Woke up desperate, managed to get up and get to work, but hell why did I bother. Everyone irritated the hell out of me, nothing I touched worked. My patients was so short I could have killed someone. Had a huge rant at a couple of staff over nothing and
February 14th
Day off work to take my daughter to Malvern for a day of fencing training. Long day, out at 7am back at 7pm and 276 miles driven but its worth it. She’s amazing, when it was over she said she didn’t enjoy it and it was a bit of a
3rd week of Feb
Monday
Start of a new week and nothing is new. Have made no progress losing weight, in fact despite counting calories and not drinking I have put on 1.5lbs
What do I need to do? I have always been ridiculously heavy, but when I try I can lose some
Out of the blue
So what is all that about? I had to take some equipment to my daughter’s sports club about 20 mins away. Nothing difficult, a quick jaunt round the M25, drop a target off and home. I cried all the way there and all the way back. Pulled it all together
Better than Average week
I’ve had a better than average week and Wednesday and Thursday had the best night’s sleep for longer than I can remember. Today, up at a reasonable time, out with daughter to a mini competition and then went over to see eldest girls new house and out for lunch. Back
Family together
The youngest has a few days on a training camp so in my wisdom I organised to rent a place right on the beach on the south coast and most of the family and partners are able to join us. It’s wonderful we sat and had dinner together with the
Up all night
So its 3am and I can’t switch off, following a entire day yesterday in bed, sleeping, tonight my head is full of thoughts. Actually it feels like those demons are in the room with me, I just can’t stop thinking, all bad thoughts, all worrying things. I can’t do work
London Marathon
I have been sat watching the Marathon and once again like so many have been inspired. Interestingly this year mental health issues are being highlighted.
I did once have an entry, 11 years ago, got up to about 12 miles in training, never enjoyed it and then turned my ankle
Mental health the biggest issue?
I’ve just been sat thinking about my life with regard weight and general fitness and let’s be honest my issues with those started long before my mental health issues. But can mental health be defined as more than Stress, Depression and Anxiety. Should lack of will power and commitment be