Day: 23 April 2017

I’ve just been sat thinking about my life with regard weight and general fitness and let’s be honest my issues with those started long before my mental health issues. But can mental health be defined as more than Stress, Depression and Anxiety. Should lack of will power and commitment be thrown in the mix too? Or maybe considered an early indicator of things to come? 

I have been trying to lose weight for 20+ years and all I have managed to do is get heavier and heavier. Through all that time I have kept records. In 1998 when I moved to America I bought a Nordic skier because I had to lose weight. At that time I was 276lbs and I got to down to 242 by Christmas.  

When I got married in 2000 I was back up to 272 and today I am 307!!!!

Ok I’m lazy, even selfish maybe, or is just that I just don’t the right motivations? 4 years ago not long after I can recognise the depression I had a heart problem and was told to lose weight. 3 years ago I had minor cancer surgery and was told to reduce my drinking, lose significant weight and improve my general health. Big enough motivations you would think? I was around 285lbs then so a stone lighter than now. 

It’s not like I don’t know the principles, I do. Burn more calories than you consume and you will lose weight. For every 3500 calorie deficit you will lose a pound and I have proved that time and time again. 

So I have had the reasons, of which there are plenty, I have the knowledge, I even have the motivation: to be around for my wonderful family and be able to take part. Live long enough to walk my daughter down the isle and see her win her Olympic gold. So what is missing? Will power, mental strength! (There goes that word again) I have even been told a number of times when I have joined in on blogs like Couch to 5K (failed at that too) and the parkrun Facebook page, what an inspiration I am to others.   So I have all the reasons from significant health scares to general hatred of the way I look and feel, so not being able to do something about it really is “mental”.  Actually that might be a great name for a weight loss blog. “Not loosing weight is Mental” what do you reckon?

Mental Health, bigger than Heart disease and cancer? There’s something to think about.

I have been sat watching the Marathon and once again like so many have been inspired. Interestingly this year mental health issues are being highlighted. 

I did once have an entry, 11 years ago, got up to about 12 miles in training, never enjoyed it and then turned my ankle so badly I was still hobbling the day of the Marathon.

It’s once again a ridiculous Nigel thing to say. I make huge statements set massive targets and have never once achieved any, but I really would love to run this next year. I have just sat and looked up training plans for 5k then 10k onto a half marathon and then the full job and not surprisingly there are not enough weeks to complete them and let’s face I would need to follow a plan to cover 1 mile. I have done 54 parkruns but have never got past the 2k marker before having to stop and walk. Today I am the heaviest I have ever been (nearly 2 stone heavier than when I last did a 5km parkrun). On top of that I need a knee operation which I don’t even have a date for yet. If I announce I am going to try and do this everyone will just smile and turn away.  No one will take me seriously because consistent history proves they are right.

So let’s see, I’ll go get on the scales now, let’s see if I can find the initial mental focus and strength to lose some weight between now and my knee operation. That is going to be at least a month away, which I am sure doesn’t sound like long to you, but to me each day is a challenge right now. If I can stick to losing weight for the next few weeks maybe we’ll look at it. If nothing else I might one day get to finish a parkrun without walking!