Mentally and Physically
For the umpteenth time I start a weight loss program!
Its not about following a diet, its about my diet! A permanent change to the way, when and what I eat. But just as importantly coupling this with exercise.
The weight loss industry gets fat on profit, pushing “fad” diets. I have lost weight before but always put it, and more, back on. Sustainable weight loss, is a permanent life style change. But I have said this a dozen times before
Can this be the time I crack it?
Sat in the office, simple phone call to make. Total panic sets in! Hands shaking, short of breath. Dropped the phone, computer screen just a blur. Everything seemed to pulse in and out and I just couldn’t think straight.
Nothing has really gone well for a couple of days, trouble with my desktop computer and my laptop. These things should just work and be computers! Conversations with staff have been jumbled, either I am not explaining myself properly or they are idiots!
Funnily enough this morning I was actually quite proud of my self thinking, despite the sheer volume of work building up I am actually coping quite well. Then this, boom!
Have sat back and tried to control my breathing and reached for my blog. Hands are still shaking a bit but I am a little calmer. I can hear the noises from the kitchen down stairs, the clicking of China, the radio playing, nothing really but right now I just want it to stop.
I just want the world to leave me alone so I can curl up in silence.
It would be so easy to go downstairs and a have a beer or 7, but I won’t, I can’t and I mustn’t