After a day or so I went to see my doctor. Unfortunately my usual doctor was not available and the lady I saw really showed no interest. I think we exchanged 2 words she wrote me a prescription for some anti-depressants and gave me a self referral form to fill in and send off to start counselling. At least this is an improvement on the previous phone call version which I have mentioned before failed spectacularly as I am sure it would for anyone suffering from anxiety. Actually two weeks on I have not taken that step, but I know I must.
So how am I? I’m not entirely sure, because during my good times I am fine anyway, so I don’t really know if the medication is making me feel better or it is just because at the moment I am fine. My wife is being great, not actually saying anything or trying to make me talk about it, but keeping a watchful eye from a distance, being very encouraging when I do the slightest of things successfully. Don’t get me wrong not in a patronising way, it’s difficult to explain I guess. I just know she knows and is trying to be subtly supportive.
Some of the side effects of the medication aren’t great but not a deal breaker. I feel permanently nauseous, which is unpleasant but not life threatening. I am so tired it is unbelievable, in fact I had to pull the car over one afternoon because I simply could not stop yawning. That being said my sleep pattern still hasn’t improved, I am still only managing 3 to 4 hours a night. I’m thirsty all the time, drinking more water than I ever have and there are some sexual side effects I won’t go into to save your blushes. We will see, maybe the body will get used to them, it has only been two weeks so lets see. I only have 28 days of tablets anyway so I will need to return to the doctors, hopefully I will see my usual lady doctor the next time.