Well my issues are out in the open, well sort of and only to my wife! But it’s a start I guess.
The sad thing is I didn’t tell her she asked me. In fact she thought I was having an affair and had got herself in a right old state. Once again my actions hurting other people needlessly. Why did she think I was having an affair? I guess because in my muddled little world I just bumbled through, did things, had conversations and then just moved onto the next muddle. Being my usual pleasant, maybe slightly flirty self, thinking nothing of it and in hindsight doing so with the wrong people. I went to see an ex-girlfriend all the way down on the south coast. I was only there for an hour and it was to discuss some business. Actually some business that could make a serious difference (or nothing could come of it of course) to me it was just business with a friend. We had always stayed in touch for birthdays and Christmas that sort of thing. What initially made it worse when asked about it was I could not even remember exactly when it was. I honestly had no idea, everything is so jumbled in my head. This is an issue that causes me difficulty time and time again. I struggle to associate time to things I did, or even remember what occurred during huge periods of time. Sometimes I can’t even be sure which year a specific event happened. There were a couple of other things too, which would just be too hard to explain, were equally innocent but could so very easily have been interpreted the wrong way and clearly were.
So anyway we talked for a bit and a I tried to explain what I could, although I know I didn’t really make any sense. Now we will see what happens, my worry is all I have done is given her something else to worry about, I really feel I am more trouble than I am worth.